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Life
Hate and love
Pain and desire
Anger and happines
Fast and faster
Hard and harder
Weak and weaker
Looser
Freak
Waste
Never good enough
Never string enough
Always to much
Drifting
Away
Going
Leaving
I dont care
About anything
The world is bad
Humans are bad
Sins everywhere
I want to leave
Dying never
Just far away
A different life
Peace
Health
Beeing strong
But to mich feelings
Hold me back
Its so much
Hate and love…
OK now Here am i ,still alive.
And wondering why i am the Person i am. Life is full of beauty and hate.
It is so complicate and various that no human will ever understand it.
I swear to god if i keep gaining weight i will fucking kill myself.
I hate it. I was halfway there but now i am just fat.
It is not fair. They made me sign a therapy contract. And also i need to gain five more pounds but i am already fat. When will it stop. Just because i have to less of the essential Vitamins and i am Aneamic. I hate therapy and rehab.
Its fucked up!
You showed me real pain
What do you think i am
I am not your slave
You are not my master
I am a human Beeing
Those wounds would heal
The pain will go away
But inside this will last forever
You fucking piece of shit
I am not strong
I keep going
But also i want to relapse
Because You showed me
That i am worthless
And i was always right
I should quit therapy.
Life is fucking pointless
Fat
Damned
They made me gain weight
I feel like dying.
Better dead than fat
Last week i did lots of things i should regret, but i cant.
I dont feel sorry even though i know it was wrong and stupid.
I Keep going on destroing myself for no reason, i cant stop. When will this all have an end? I wish i could care.
I think i am happy right now.
So happy that my heart will explode.